now im sitting on my rooftop.

arms spread wide hoping to grasp the wind of the night.
this is the perception of God, flowing through my hair and passed my ears, whispering words of such nonsense.
how can i believe the tales of the darkside when the world we live in is evil but based on good intentions?
its al hypocritcal, everyone is and everything is subjeced to punishment and critique.
blow it off like a line into space, cause you live once, so dont waste it.

The Magic of a Mother’s Touch

 ”I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”

Dreams are being fulfilled due to your consitent effort to educate me in values. But now it’s my turn to show you how proud i am that i had your llove and care.

 

forever in my heart, Barbara Coleman “1937- 2008″

NewBorn.

This weekend i went to my niece’s christening and it was the first time i really got to be there for one of my family members who was younger than me. Now that i see how much this means to my whole family i understand that my actions will indefinately guide them to theirs. And with the steps i take i think about this everyday. And right now…. im content with how i portray myself.

acidwash.

the wonders and whispers of the long forgotten sorrows only can creep for a while.

the ancient clocks tower, wizards of peace and love propser, only to sought out the message

wonders are devoured, dreams often dimminished, for the beads of light are nothing but pure soundwaves transmitted.

manual operations become less than human occupations to which technology wins the war over the human race.

we all are too shuffled away like pigs in a farm , told what to do even if we dont like it we tollerate it just so we can make it by to the next day. 

human animals, whatt a joke you say?

you would believe such a thing if only you took a trip into the psychodellic field filled with good feelings and emotions of happpieness with overly joyful for the little things in life

respect the smallest of creatures in the world because they have a meaning here just as much as we do. no matter an ant to a human, its the same. 

for every ant in an ant farm theres a human on this world. millionss and millions of human ants pretty much. all coming from the same idea and lifestyles.

these walls are breathing, like im in the belly of the beast as it shelters itself from the preys up above us. only to live again.

revised draft

    People are usually judged by their appearance not by the story they have hidden beneath the eye. I know this because I have experienced this in the past and continue to experience it today. I grew up in North Jersey, not in the best of neighborhoods, but I was different from the majority of the kids I grew up with. I always had an open-mind to school and sports but my friends had their own ideas about life. A lot of them are in jail today or headed to jail soon, and if it wasn’t for my father, then I could have been a victim of this lifestyle.

   At the end of the seventh grade I moved in with my father in Connecticut. This transition was a huge culture shock for me. I went from living in the city to living in the suburbs. The change was difficult for me at first, but I always kept my head up and made the most of my opportunities, particularly the opportunity I was given to attend Xavier High School. It was in my freshman year that I noticed the confidence I had acquired from the support of my family, my father, and my mother who opened my mind to the idea of attending college. I was skeptical about leaving, but no matter how far away family is, the caring and love they give will stay with me and support me in future decisions. As my years in Xavier continued I realized that responsibilities and obligations were larger. The day after my sixteenth birthday I took the liberty of getting my first job, but this was not enough for me. A couple months later I decided I wanted to work a second job. When I did this I then understood the reality of life without a proper education, the struggles people go through just to get by. I then understood the importance of going to college so I could make something great of myself.

    Unfortunately, last year my grandmother, my greatest mentor, passed away. My grandmother took great pride in my academic progression, especially in my artistic abilities. When I was young she taught me everything from math, to reading, to art. This foundation of learning kept my attention while my friends ran off and got themselves into trouble, and were it not for her I cannot imagine where my life would be today. It was always her dream that I would go to college, and until last year college seemed so far away, I now understand that it is closer than I had imagined. I promised her a long time ago that I would be successful, the first in my family to go to college and make something of myself, and I am determined to do so.

   Taking this next step is one of the most important things that will have ever happened to my family and myself. Getting a college education and collecting experiences that many of my peers missed out on will set an example to my nieces that will, hopefully, inspire them to do the same. I am not interested in the glory of being the first in my family to attend college, I simply want to live out the life my family has struggled so long to give me. The changes I have gone through have made me the person that I am today, a smart, experienced, and caring man that wants to achieve his highest capabilities. I have gone through a lot in my life and I accept the troubles that I have dealt with, I just want to be successful, in my eyes and in those of my family.

extacy to me.

never in a million years would you expect a touch to be filled with such love.

when would you realize that love is just an action now a days not an emotion flourishing between two people.

your body tingles with snesation of the touch and to my knowledge it wasnt mine but another mans

the feeling of pain filters through but the feeling of this erases it for a while. the hearing of that voice who basically tells us were all alone.

as you pray i sit and stay frequently thinking of how i can be the god you worship, the man you love, that simple figure of hope you solely depend on. 

i have never felt like this and i love the feeling, every night is an adventure for me and i plan to keep the experiemnts flowing as long as the blood dribbles down my veins.

and at the end of everyday i still am, in my heart, the most sincere caring person with a tad bit of protection of feelings that will everlong be in my soul, body, heart, and mind. 

all bow down to the new found glory, yours truly my dear..

chemicals/emotions collide

these chemicals collide to make something so beautiful, magniifcent, marvolous! simply added togetehr to make a substance to support mental illness, how magnificent is that? mentality that has been corrupted by sin and the dieases of evil people who have grown up in hell and now the effects affect the life of the sane not the mentally ill. sunshine, is the only thing a kid can feel that gives comfort to the evil in the world. the words of the new age are just words reitterated from the words of the insane. i cant keep up with the keys my hands feel like they are on the the path of massacracing these political thieves. 

 

my brains scarred, im ripping you apart like fire on flesh leaving burn charred scars. i cant write anymore i might delete this and everything along with it, just to put my name back in the closet where no one could find it, this broadcasting of thoughts only gets people in trouble or reprimanded to the higharcy of our system of regulation. im done, maybe for good, maybe for the night, it is early, maybe ill see you in the light.

story of life

BEGIN.

 

ive done so much just to release these kiddish emotions out into the open, just for a thank you or a smile of joy.

what more can a person do than to sacrifice his life to the love of the night and pain of the day?

lay down my soul for you to take care of, like a garden of spirits that is tended by the gods that rule over our lives

as the reaper approaches to my withered weeds that you have long forgotten to care for

with a quick, silent, and beautiful swing of the infamous scythe my life ends within seconds, never having a chance to say my goodbyes and loves to the ones who’ve really mattered.

everyday is something new, but in the end every night is the same, i doubt myself and the choices i have made, the people i have encountered voluntarily, and the love i let grow inside this deep bottomless pit filled with human emotions.

the answer i have to the mysterious question of “why are you the way you are to me?” is very simple, i LIVE to only let you SHINE. 

 

END.

BSing the BSer

life is so real, everyone goes through like products on a conveyor belt and as it moves further down the line new things are added like people experiencing new things. were held down by goverment and the system of living, go to school, learn, go into the world work till you cant anymore, then die. any enjoyments you have in between then are lucky so to speak.

i like the fact that there are some people out there that push it to the limits, showing everyone you can be happy without following “the rules” its just pure genious to me. having nothing, but having everything at the same time. becasue when you have everything, being materialistic, you have nothing symbolically and emotionally. i dont know, i just think to much, im a kid with big ideas of the world ahead of me, maybe im just scared to face the reality i have been programmed to live. but, i will have to do it, the system demands it and the people give it all they have.

Br33the.

have you ever witnessed something majestic that fuels your will to explore?
or spoke out against something that baffled you and inner soul?
maybe even a letter you wrote that meant something more than the word it stood for?
you try new things so the meaning of doing so doesnt drift so low.
the feeling one gets when trapped in a secluded area of the mind where your only hope is to quiet the surroundings just to gasp for that last breath of sanity is too much of a struggle.
the summer air gives such a hallucinating aura that tricks your mind into feeling relaxed when in reality you should be alert and ready for the worst of all.
but the trick is what gives people hope and comfort, so why not embrace it with wide arms?
theres always two sides of things and its in your best interest to go with the one your gut is striving for.
but i never did that, instead i went with the knowledgable one and didnt get what i bargained for…
ill wait for that day and soon enough it will come, more mistakes and setbacks for me will bring faith back to the playing ground..