day-ja-voo

Posted in Uncategorized on June 8, 2011 by John J Rotten

i keep wondering how im supposed to fix the mistakes ive made. ive been trying to take the intuitive to do the right things but it seems to fall through day by day. everytime i feel happy for once the overwhealming feeling of regret and dissapointment in myself seems to swallow me whole. i miss the life i had when things werent so difficult, when my mistakes didnt affect the overall outcome of my life. i wish i never had to deal with deaths in family, loss of friendships, and loss of trust from my loved ones. i dont know how long this will last but to me, atleast in my head, seems like these struggles will never go away. life is a hard thing to deal with and many people have it worse than me but i dont think anybody could really understand how ive been handling this. this stupid blog has been the only way to communicate with myself fully by using metaphors to depict what the fuck ive been through and to some people its nothing but a front, or joke. there was a point in my life when i wasnt crazy where i did think rationally but as the years go on i find myself questioning how i became such a monster. it all feels like time is running out not just for me but for everyone in this world and if i have to go out feeling like this to the last day than ive wasted a lot of time and hurt a lot of people. my peers keep telling me that i can fix everything and move on with my life but i just cant see it happening. my dreams and ambitions are diminishing because i feel like the world is giving up on me even though im trying to give it my all..

update

Posted in Uncategorized on May 19, 2011 by John J Rotten

im happy now, actully happy.

next step is making another person happy. to enjoy life and to brush off the bullshit it brings.

until then ima enjoy the little shit and live.

cvgjhbk

Posted in Uncategorized on April 8, 2011 by John J Rotten

“Ever since I was a young lad
With a part time dad
It was hard to find happiness inside of what I had
I studied my mother
I digested her pain
And vowed no woman on my path would have to walk the same”

some real life shit.

Decaying Hobby.

Posted in Uncategorized on April 8, 2011 by John J Rotten

the decaying started slow

started with the  cold sweats and shakes

then blackened lungs followed.

heart problems to body aches

my heart was full but now is  hollow

only a few people i hold dear

and my family tried to heal me for years

but nothing changes to quick,

but if i continue to have these seizures in my sleep

i dont think i can last another week.

im happy in the mind but everyone sees the pain ive lived

this is the truth about me and i dont give a shit what you think.

REALITY

Posted in Uncategorized on January 30, 2011 by John J Rotten

i woke up this morning with a hole in my chest
a hollow grave for what was once there
I gathered the materialistic items that remind me of the reality i long to leave behind and walk out the door
i walk down the winding roads of an unfamiliar place to get lost
getting lost in the thoughts is the life i live
every waking moment is a journey in my own mind
an adventure to find the light that shined through my chest
Every day is a constant struggle and war with the army of my conscience and im the only soldier on the field
its as if i fell into wonderland but the societies view was corrected
the rabbit was a savage beast preying on the weak and feeding off of fear
the landscape is full of rotten vegatation and the queen of hearts painted the roses with blood
you would never believe this but compare it to your surroundings.
the world is nothing more than a concealed and secret society of fear and death
and the light that shines from your heart is the one thing we long to find.
so ill contine the journey for mine, as should you..

Chapter 1

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2010 by John J Rotten

let me start off with saying, LIFES A BITCH.

now that’s out of the way i figured i talk about new lifestyle’s. These past few months have redefined the whole image of “life” in my mind. the people the friends the family they all have become something different in both good and bad ways. No need to go into depth on that but the way i looked and approached everyday life is no longer the same, nor is it enjoyable sometimes. But what i have found is that i enjoy living the lifestlye of being “on top” no stress. I appreciate, i care, i want more of this and that motivation is pushing me to great measures that i might not be able to handle but then again, LIFES A BITCH.

There is no time to sit back and wait to see what happens or where ill end up were all on the same path that leads us, inevitably, to death. The ways i chose to live messed my path up a bit but its nothing a bandaid cant fix. So from here on the John you all knew and the letdowns and heartbreaks you all expect is no longer with you,(deceased) welcome, to the new life of Johnny Rotten…

dictating identification

Posted in Uncategorized on October 21, 2010 by John J Rotten

It’s inevitable in todays society to believe you can escape the mainstream media. Constantly, throughout the day, you are force fed outrageous amounts of media from music, video, and merchandising. I’ve always had a sense of oppression towards the mainstream scene. The amount of people with like-mind ideas and stereotypical views on any form of opinion is overwhelming for one’s thoughts. The statistics of how much media we consume on a daily basis is astonishing and shows how much we depend and rely on other peoples ideas to dictate our likes and dislikes. Sooner or later we have to take responsibilty for personal identification of our own thoughts that derive from individual emtions. Once this is accomplished, we will truly have become a society destined to be since the creation of man.

 

individual thought:

I believe that the media corporations and industries are on the opposing side of the playing field against the government. Battling for power over societies view and numbers, but both empowered by the World Bank that has inevitably taken over the worlds opinionated souls for the opportunity to rule superior with what we believe as being important, wealth and raw power.